Mood Fixer Elixir

 एक्जाम बाहेक त केही पनि छैन मेरो जिन्दगीमा अहिले। जिन्दगीको रंगीन यो ब्रम्हाण्डमा म अहिले यस्तो blackhole मा फसेको छु जसमा न त कुनै प्रकाश छिर्छ, न त कुनै ऊर्जा। न त यहाँ बाट निस्कन मिल्छ, न त निस्केर कतै जानै मिल्छ यो सगाल अन्धकारबाट टाढा। यो blackhole को गुरुत्वाकर्षणले मलाई तानेको मात्र छैन, मलाई थिचिरहेको छ, दबाइरहेको छ आफू भित्र, आफू जस्तै अन्धकार बनाउन। यसको आकर्षण यति बढी रहेछ की यसले मेरो मनबाट सबै रङ्ग, तरङ्ग, उमङ्ग, सबै ढङ्गबाट एउटा चुम्बकले फलाम तानेझै तानेर रित्त्याउन थालिसक्यो। एक्जामकाे blackhole भित्रै मेरा ज्ञान - विवेक पनि मिसिदै, चुसिँदै, हराउँदै, बिलाउँदै गइरहेका छन्, र म त्यो event horizon बाट आफैलाई देखिरहेको छु सबै पढेको बिर्सिंदै गएको, त्यो blackhole मा विलाउँदै गएको।

  सम्झना, ११ फेब्रुअरी, सन् २०१७ को। हजरत शाहजलाल अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय विमानस्थलको तर्फ प्रस्थान गर्न हाम्रो रिजेन्ट एयरवेजको फ्लाइट उडान भरिसकेका भएतापनि मेरो मन भने अझै उडान भर्न चाहीरहेको थिएन। एउटा सुन्दर भविष्यलाई पिछा गर्दै मेरो शरीर जति उमंगका साथ त्यो ३० हजार फिट उचाईमा उडेर अगाडि बढिरहेको थियो, त्यति नै भारी हुँदै मेरो मन आफ्नी आमाका बिछोडका ती आँसु मै लुटपुटिदैं नेपालमै अड्किन खोजिरहेको थियो। आफ्नी आमाको सम्झनामा केहीबेर बादलका बीचमा हराइसकेको मेरो मनलाई एयरहोस्टेसको घोषणाले झसङ्ग झस्कायो। अब केहीबेरमा बङ्गलादेशको राजधानी ढाकामा हामी अवतरण गर्न लागेका रहेछौँ। यसो झ्याल बाहिर तिर आफ्नो नजर घुमाएँ, सन्ध्यामा सजिएको त्यो सुन्दर झिलमिली ढाका शहरले हामीलाई न्यानो स्वागतम दिइरहेको थियो। जहाजबाट बाहिर निस्कनासाथ यो बिरानो ठाउँको तातो हावा र उष्ण गर्मीले पनि हामीलाई स्वागत गर्न भ्यायो।   केहीबेर विमानस्थलका प्रक्रिया पुरा गरी, कलेजले पठाएको गाडी चढी हामीले हाम्रो नयाँ जीवनको यात्रा सुरु गर्यौं। यस छोटो यात्रा मै पनी छिनछिनमा लागिरहेको त्यो लामो जामले हामीले सुरु गरेको त्यो ल...

  Artificial Intelligence will control us pretty easily because we are so dependent on the devices these days. We have become so dependent on the social media and the virtual world, even more after the pandemic situation. Our classes, our shopping, food, entertainment, friends, sports and any aspect of life we can think of is now all available in our phones. The communities and communications we have which used to be much personal and direct before are pretty soon going to be composed of an absolution of social media. I mean, it is good to be able to keep in touch with your friends and loved ones who are far away physically. It is even better to be able to know many people and do, learn many new things we wouldn't be able to just a decade ago. Majorly speaking there are more good things to talk about too but what I am more concerned about is that the social medias are created in such a way that it is easier for you to make you look or tell your story exactly the way you want it to ...

 I choked them to death, with my own hands, Pierced my thumbs so deep to puncture their glands. Were they a he or a she? I just couldn't tell, Nor if they now belonged to heaven or hell.  I choked them to death, but I wasn't quick, As I mildly enjoyed their whimper and squeak. The undulating struggle and their whispering cries, Brought joy in my heart but tears in my eyes.  I choked them to death, as I wanted to know, how much of debt would a human life owe? What value, what price could a mortal derive? just to understand that, I took someone's life.  I choked them to death, how soft was their throat! Like they loved it too, no resistance to note! You feel like a god, your soul feels so grand, When somebody's life is now in your hand.  I choked them to death, for a good cause, A social experiment to find our flaws, and strangle them down cause they don't deserve it, as humans have value only if they're perfect.  I didn't know who they were until I choked th...

       रजस्वला र मेरी दिदी  घरमा आइ टोपल्नु भाथ्यो भनाउदा बुद्धिजीवी, ज्ञानी, जुत्ता लगाई नै छिर्ने खालको रैछ सरको बानी, कोट टाईको पहिरनमा मयल टलकेथ्यो टलक्कै, शरीरको गन्ध पनि ठुस्सै , बसे म हल्का अलग्गै।  आदर्शवादी उनी, गफिए प्रगतिवादता खन्याउँदै, सर-सफाइका कुरा सुनाए सिरलाई ख्वार ख्वार्ती कन्याउँदै, समानताको विश्वासी, "मधिसे" लाइ हेप्या देख्दा मन घोच्छ रे छोरीको एसएलसी सकिने बित्तिकै अनम्याइदिने सोच छ रे।  घाँटी सुक्यो क्यार बरा, दिदीलाई पानी ल्याइदिन अर्हाए उनी, "रजस्वला चलेको रैछ" थाहा पाउँदा गिलास छुनै डराए उनी, भर्खर सिँगान कोट्याको हातमा बिस्कुट लिए चियामा चोपाली, सुनाउन थाले दिदीलाई आदर्श, आफू भलादमी टोपाली, " किन ल्याइस पानी? तँ नछुने, तँ अशुद्ध छस्, छोरी मान्छे धेर नउफ्रनु, टाढै कोठामै तँ मुग्ध बस। नियम नमान्ने नकचरी तेरो धर्म नै पाे नास होला, पापिनी भैजालिस, तेरो नरकमा नै बास होला! "  अझै के के सुनाए मेरी आमा बा लाई नी हकार्दै, मेरी दिदीलाई फोहोरी भने भ्वाक्क पाददै र डकार्दै। मयल टल्केको उनको, औंलामा लतका छ्न सिँगान सोहोरी, त्यस्ताले कस...

 We gotta unlearn lot of theoritical things, unlearn a lot of feelings and emotions too, unlearn a lot of own beliefs, unlearn a lot of criterias we set, unlearn/unmeet aome people, and unlearn ourselves at some point, and then rediscover, renovate, revise and renew 😊 My dad says a house's life span is 30/40 years. Then we gotta renovate. How do you expect this soul to stay in the same house for 70-100 years without any kind of renovation? Growth is a dynamic process afterall, and a Plant won't grow into a tree wont if it's kept in a small vase forever

 People's dreams never end. It never should. The bigger it is the better, because what's the greater thrill in life than trying to do something seeming impossible and try to prove everyone wrong. If you are afraid of just dreaming, how can you possibly think you'll be able to achieve it?  Step over the mockers, step over the ridicules. Have faith in the wings you dream of and just take the flight. If you fall, pick yourself up, because the world will be busy laughing, and try to dream of the wing again, this time make it more refined. And someday you'll fly. Or atleast you'll learn to jump very high and balance down your landing.