Mood Fixer Elixir

  " Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed but can be transformed from one form into another. "  Newton was very right about his theory. I think this same theory is very much applicable to our emotions and feelings as well, to some extent at least. I’m not going to go on a debate on how can an emotion NOT be created! The very nature of the feelings and emotions is that they develop, grow and prosper in our heart and mind like cancer. And certainly feelings are destroyed! The feeling, killed from its active sprouting form into a complete diminish is probably what we call Indifference. I’m not trying to explain about how to create a feeling, But I’d like to focus only on the, “can be transformed from one form into another” and ultimately destroy it as a whole. Think about it, what do you say when you talk to someone and you don’t feel like you are going to enjoy their company? You’d say, “Our vibes don’t match.” Or some words similar. The vibes, or the vibration of one ...

 When you're so fucked up in love,  When you're so fucked up in love, You feel like a bird with broken wings  Unable to soar above,  Trapped in a world of painful things. Every thought is consumed.  By the one who holds your heart,  You try to move on really bad,  But you don't know where to start. You see their face in every crowd.  Their voice echoes in your mind.  You try to silence the memories,  But they're impossible to unwind. The pain cuts deep like a knife,  As you try to heal from the wound.  But no matter how hard you strive.  The love remains profound. You wish you could turn back time, And do things differently somehow,  But you know that's just a fantasy,  And you're stuck in the here and now. When you're so fucked up in love.  Your heart feels like a stormy sea,  Your mind is a tangled mess,  And you can't seem to break free. But as time passes by.  You start to realize, That lo...

Ever since my mind had been capable of processing the thoughts and cycle the emotions it dealt with, an question it always asked to itself was what love is. Although many other curiosities about the sexuality which had been hidden from the society as a topic of taboo was slowly filled as I grew up and searched for a bit  in the biology books, no book could fully explain this one non sexual,simplified feeling called love. What I did get was experiences. Lessons of the life itself maybe? Which possibly could help me broaden my view towards love? So this little writing here is just me blabbering out about what I think love is to my understanding. Bear with me. Being a science student, lets start with biology. I think love is a feeling stimulated by the brain, caused by the release of certain chemicals,  such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals produce the feelings of pleasure, attachment, and contentment that we associate with being in love. But love is more ...

 एक्जाम बाहेक त केही पनि छैन मेरो जिन्दगीमा अहिले। जिन्दगीको रंगीन यो ब्रम्हाण्डमा म अहिले यस्तो blackhole मा फसेको छु जसमा न त कुनै प्रकाश छिर्छ, न त कुनै ऊर्जा। न त यहाँ बाट निस्कन मिल्छ, न त निस्केर कतै जानै मिल्छ यो सगाल अन्धकारबाट टाढा। यो blackhole को गुरुत्वाकर्षणले मलाई तानेको मात्र छैन, मलाई थिचिरहेको छ, दबाइरहेको छ आफू भित्र, आफू जस्तै अन्धकार बनाउन। यसको आकर्षण यति बढी रहेछ की यसले मेरो मनबाट सबै रङ्ग, तरङ्ग, उमङ्ग, सबै ढङ्गबाट एउटा चुम्बकले फलाम तानेझै तानेर रित्त्याउन थालिसक्यो। एक्जामकाे blackhole भित्रै मेरा ज्ञान - विवेक पनि मिसिदै, चुसिँदै, हराउँदै, बिलाउँदै गइरहेका छन्, र म त्यो event horizon बाट आफैलाई देखिरहेको छु सबै पढेको बिर्सिंदै गएको, त्यो blackhole मा विलाउँदै गएको।

  सम्झना, ११ फेब्रुअरी, सन् २०१७ को। हजरत शाहजलाल अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय विमानस्थलको तर्फ प्रस्थान गर्न हाम्रो रिजेन्ट एयरवेजको फ्लाइट उडान भरिसकेका भएतापनि मेरो मन भने अझै उडान भर्न चाहीरहेको थिएन। एउटा सुन्दर भविष्यलाई पिछा गर्दै मेरो शरीर जति उमंगका साथ त्यो ३० हजार फिट उचाईमा उडेर अगाडि बढिरहेको थियो, त्यति नै भारी हुँदै मेरो मन आफ्नी आमाका बिछोडका ती आँसु मै लुटपुटिदैं नेपालमै अड्किन खोजिरहेको थियो। आफ्नी आमाको सम्झनामा केहीबेर बादलका बीचमा हराइसकेको मेरो मनलाई एयरहोस्टेसको घोषणाले झसङ्ग झस्कायो। अब केहीबेरमा बङ्गलादेशको राजधानी ढाकामा हामी अवतरण गर्न लागेका रहेछौँ। यसो झ्याल बाहिर तिर आफ्नो नजर घुमाएँ, सन्ध्यामा सजिएको त्यो सुन्दर झिलमिली ढाका शहरले हामीलाई न्यानो स्वागतम दिइरहेको थियो। जहाजबाट बाहिर निस्कनासाथ यो बिरानो ठाउँको तातो हावा र उष्ण गर्मीले पनि हामीलाई स्वागत गर्न भ्यायो।   केहीबेर विमानस्थलका प्रक्रिया पुरा गरी, कलेजले पठाएको गाडी चढी हामीले हाम्रो नयाँ जीवनको यात्रा सुरु गर्यौं। यस छोटो यात्रा मै पनी छिनछिनमा लागिरहेको त्यो लामो जामले हामीले सुरु गरेको त्यो ल...

  Artificial Intelligence will control us pretty easily because we are so dependent on the devices these days. We have become so dependent on the social media and the virtual world, even more after the pandemic situation. Our classes, our shopping, food, entertainment, friends, sports and any aspect of life we can think of is now all available in our phones. The communities and communications we have which used to be much personal and direct before are pretty soon going to be composed of an absolution of social media. I mean, it is good to be able to keep in touch with your friends and loved ones who are far away physically. It is even better to be able to know many people and do, learn many new things we wouldn't be able to just a decade ago. Majorly speaking there are more good things to talk about too but what I am more concerned about is that the social medias are created in such a way that it is easier for you to make you look or tell your story exactly the way you want it to ...

 I choked them to death, with my own hands, Pierced my thumbs so deep to puncture their glands. Were they a he or a she? I just couldn't tell, Nor if they now belonged to heaven or hell.  I choked them to death, but I wasn't quick, As I mildly enjoyed their whimper and squeak. The undulating struggle and their whispering cries, Brought joy in my heart but tears in my eyes.  I choked them to death, as I wanted to know, how much of debt would a human life owe? What value, what price could a mortal derive? just to understand that, I took someone's life.  I choked them to death, how soft was their throat! Like they loved it too, no resistance to note! You feel like a god, your soul feels so grand, When somebody's life is now in your hand.  I choked them to death, for a good cause, A social experiment to find our flaws, and strangle them down cause they don't deserve it, as humans have value only if they're perfect.  I didn't know who they were until I choked th...